I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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