I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize