You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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