I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
