It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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