he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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