So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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