If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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