Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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