Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
