I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Panties = found
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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