my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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