But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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