this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
