All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
