So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
