So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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