she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I understand Curling. That high.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
