sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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