Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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