It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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