I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She even gives head with a lisp.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
