Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
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I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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