sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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