im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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