He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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