I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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