That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was like eating out sand paper
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
