Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
