i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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