oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
