Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
