Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
