I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
