You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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