The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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