I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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