I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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