I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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