Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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