I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
