he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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