This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I CAN MOONWALK!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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