i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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