you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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