Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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