I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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