EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
