he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
