Pappa wants mamma naked
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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