If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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