Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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