Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
