Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
