I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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