This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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